The Wedding Ceremony
wedding day usually commences with a fast for both the bride
and groom. The groom will leave his house accompanied by his
best man and one of his younger female relatives whose job it
is to keep the groom awake by shaking a metal pot filled with
a few coins and a betel nut over his head. The history behind
this curious custom is that weddings in India were traditionally
held in the evening at which time many a groom might succumb
On leaving his house, the groom's car may be impeded by the
younger female members of his family who demand a "gift" in
exchange for allowing him to leave for his wedding ceremony.
The majority of the wedding ceremony will take place in a Mandap
(the four-pole canopy at centre stage). The sacred fire in the
Mandap symbolises not only the illumination of the mind, knowledge
and happiness but is also a clean and pure witness to the ceremony
as it progresses.
The ceremony itself is a collection of rituals performed by
the bride, bridegroom and their respective parents and close
relatives. The priest chants "mantras" from the Vedas that were
originally written in Sanskrit. He will also use the following
in his ceremonies:
Fresh flowers - to signify beauty;
Coconut - to signify fertility;
Rice, jaggery and other grains - to signify the food necessary
for sustenance of human life;
Ghee (purified butter) - to feed the sacred fire;
Kumkum (vermilion) - red powder used for marking the forehead
to signify good luck and to say that your soul (husband)
is with you.
The major stages of the Hindu Ceremony:
The wedding day starts with a prayer invoking Lord Ganesh whose
divine grace dispel all evils and promotes a successful and
peaceful completion of the ceremony.
(Worship to the Nine Planets)
This is a prayer to the nine planets of our Solar system. Ancient
Indian studies indicated that various celestial bodies have
an influence on the destiny of every individual. The effect
of the nine planets is meant to be the most profound. During
this puja the Gods associated with these planets are asked to
infuse courage, peace of mind and inner strength to the bride
and groom to help them endure life's sufferings.
The Welcome (Parchan)
The bride's mother welcomes the bridegroom with a garland and
she then escorts him to the mandap. The father of the bride
washes the right foot of the bridegroom with milk and honey.
At the end of the welcome, a white sheet is held to prevent
this bridegroom seeing the arrival of the bride.
Arrival of the Bride
The bride is escorted to the mandap by her maternal uncle (Mama),
female cousins and friends. In some wedding ceremonies she may
be carried in a small carriage to the mandap.
(Entrusting of the Daughter)
Consent of the parents is obtained for the wedding to proceed.
The bride's parents give their daughter to the groom by putting
the bride's right hand into the groom's right hand (Hastamelap,
joining of hands) while reciting sacred verse. The curtain separating
the bride and groom is then lowered and the couple exchange
flower garlands. The elders of the house place an auspicious
white cotton cord around the couple's shoulder's to protect
them from the evil influences. This also symbolises the couple's
bond. The groom holds the bride's hand and they both take vows
to love cherish and protect each other throughout life.
(tying the knot)
The priest ties the wedding knot as a symbol of the permanent
union between the bride and groom as husband and wife.
(evocation of the holy fire)
The priest sets up a small fire in a kund (cooper bowl). Agni
(fire) is the mouth of Vishnu and symbolises the illumination
of mind, knowledge and happiness. The remainder of the ceremony
is conducted around the fire.
(stepping on the stone)
The bride places her right foot on a stone. The bridegroom tells
her to be as firm as the stone in his house so that the can
face their enemies and the difficulties of life together.
(putting parched rice into the sacred
Three obligations are offered to the sacred fire. The brother
of the bride puts into the bride's hand parched rice, half of
which slips into the bridegroom's hand. Mantras are chanted.
The bride prays to Yama, the God of Death, that he grant long
life, health, happiness and prosperity to the bridegroom.
(walking around the fire)
The couple walk around the sacred fire four times. Each time
they stop to touch with their toe a stone in their path. This
symbolises obstacles in life that they will overcome together.
These four rounds stand for the four basic human goals:
- monetary accomplishment
- energy and passion in life
- liberation from everything in life.
The groom, signifying his contribution in helping the union
to attain dharma, artha and kama, leads the first three rounds.
The bride signifying their continual journey spiritual liberation
leads the last round.
The bride and groom take seven steps together around the fire.
It is said in Hindu philosophy that if two people walk seven
steps together then they will remain lifelong friends. They
exchange sacred vows at the beginning of each encircling walk.
At the end of each walk, the open palms of the bride are filled
with puffed rice by her brother signifying wealth and prosperity.
The seven steps and their promises are:
take the first step to provide for our household, keeping a
pure diet and avoiding those things that might harm us.
2. Let us
take the second step to develop our physical, mental and spiritual
3. Let us
take our third step to increase our wealth by righteous and
4. Let us
take out fourth step to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony
by mutual love, respect and trust.
5. Let us
take the fifth step so that we may be blessed with strong, virtuous
and heroic children.
6. Let us
take the sixth step for self-restraint and longevity.
7. Let us
take the seventh step to be true companions and remain life-long
partners by this wedlock.
(blessing the bride)
The bridegroom blesses the bride by putting kumkum or sindhur
(vermilion powder) at the parting of her hair (or on her forehead)
and by giving her a sacred necklace (Mangal Sutra). The Mangal
Sutra represents the couple's togetherness, love and sacred
(touching of hearts)
The bride and bridegroom touch each other's heart reciting promises
to each other.
The bride and groom feed each other four times for nourishment
of the bone, muscle, skin and soul.
The priest blesses the bride and groom. Flower petals and rice
are given to the guests to shower them on the bride and groom
with blessings. The wedding guests can then give their individuals
blessings to the bride and groom and once completed, the marriage
ceremony ends. Guests are invited to enjoy a sumptuous meal
with the newlyweds.
The farewell to the bride by her family and friends is a very
emotional episode. The bride is leaving her parents home to
build a life with her husband and his family. She leaves with
tears of joy and sorrow.
Before the wedding car departs for the Hindu temple, the priest
will place a coconut under the front wheel of the car and wait
for it to be broken by the weight of the car. The historic significance
of this is that in the old days the couple would use a horse
drawn carriage and the breaking of the coconut ensured that
the vehicle was roadworthy for the journey. The pilucinchuanu
concludes the entire ceremony.